Labels

Labels are a terrible thing, they're used to classify judge and separate people into separate categories, which is rather sad. Everything from Goth, Thug, Prep, White, Black, Mexican, Asian, American, European, Rich, and Poor. These terms are all used to separate us from each other, "the Goths can't hang out with Preps in high school" or worse, "The rich shouldn't be seen with the poor." These are all ridiculous idea's based on irrational fears of less popularity and less wealth. But what's worse is now we label ourselves, we get into high school, college, a new job, or a new group. The first decision we are faced with when making a change like this is, how we want others to see us. So we start changing ourselves to be what we think other people will accept, we give up our own style and taste to fit into a predetermined classification. 

I find it so sad that we do this, we all do this, we give up ourselves a piece at a time until we’re someone else, just to fit in and avoid discrimination. We hide from who we really are, instead of standing up for our right to enjoy anything. Because that's, in my opinion, the worst part of it, we give up things we may love, just to fit into a classification made up by someone we don't even know. For instance, what if you're a "thug" you can't fall in love with Bach or Mozart, because someone you've never met decided that they're not cool. Just like a Goth who LOVES death metal would be made fun of for listening to R Kelly or Kelly Clarkson. So what if you like it, listen to it. One of my favorite movie lines is from the movie "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" where Nick says "I don't subscribe to any labels." It's a brilliant idea, he's his own person, he doesn't want to be anything but himself, he doesn't want to limit the music, art, or people he can love because of a silly label.

The Label I dislike the most is the label "Manly" because I get called unmanly quite often for the most ridiculous reasons. What's more ridiculous is that this one word is supposed to describe about half the population of the entire world but to assume that half of the world all fit this description is crazy. Or to think that if you like Kelly Clarkson (I admit I am a fan) that makes you less of a man. I have been told I am not manly because I like Kelly Clarkson, Chick Flicks, dancing, being completely goofy, sometimes crazy, not being aggressive, walking away from fights, and crying from time to time when it's appropriate or needed. These traits apparently make me less of a man. . .in that case, I don't want to be "manly." Which I don't, I want to be ME, The One and Only: John Holt Yo!!! I want to enjoy life and everything it has to offer.

So why limit the things we can enjoy by "Subscribing" to these labels, why not create our own label, called AWESOME, where the only qualification is simply being yourself. If you love something, THAT'S COOL, as long as it's not causing anyone physical or emotional damage, go for it. I won't judge you. Just because you like the Spice Girls, doesn't mean you can't enjoy woodcarving, hunting, or providing for a family. You can be a Man and still be yourself, in fact I think that being true to yourself, is a TRUE sign of manliness. Because a real man doesn't let someone else tell him what or who he can or can't love or enjoy. But somewhere through the years this truth has been lost, and you'd think after slavery and segregation we'd learn that separating ourselves into groups isn't right.

When you decided you want to be in a group, or you label yourself, you give up SO much. I don't want that, I want to experience ALL the world has to offer in my short time on earth. I don't think there's anything wrong with that OR blaring Since You've Been Gone when driving down the highway singing along, sometimes doing goofy but appropriate arm movements, and ignoring the other cars who see this dramatic display of musical perfection and dancing awesomeness. Because it's FUN, so much fun, yeah other people might see me and think I'm crazy, but who cares what other people think, I'll likely never see them again anyway and I’m happy while I’m doing it, I’m having legitimate and childish fun. Something I think we should all enjoy more often, because there is a time for seriousness and a time for goofiness.

Because in the end, the only label I'll accept is "Human" or “AWESOME” because that's what we are. We are all born human beings, and that's the BEAUTIFUL truth of life. We're not black, Asian, American, or goth. We're Human, and there is no reason any one of us should limit the things we can be passionate about because of someone else's opinion of what we should love or dislike. We are all different and the same at the same time. We all have the same parts, but different experiences which define who we are and what we love. We should follow our own path, not follow someone else down theirs. For instance some people are going to hate everything I've said so far, while others will embrace it. That's the beautiful think about this country and this world, we have the freedom to make our own decisions and no one can take that from us. They may limit our choices, but they cannot take away our ability to choose without us choosing to let them.

So break free from your label, give something new a chance. Try a new food, movie, or genre. Who knows, it might change your life, you might find a new passion, you might even fall in love. Be you and no one else, find yourself and embrace that person. I promise you will find people that love that person, and you'll find people who share your opinions not just your style. They'll love you for who YOU ARE, not just your taste in music or movies. The most beautiful thing you can be is you, and I promise YOU are beautiful. So find yourself, embrace yourself, and BE yourself. Because no one can be more you than yourself.

Positive vs Negative attention

One thing I have realized I will never understand is why people prefer negatively drawn attention over positively drawn. For instance I would rather be recognized for holding an elevator for someone else rather than get yelled at because I let it shut when someone was obviously in need of it as well. I'd also prefer to be recognized for being healthy and fit in comparison to gaining sympathy, or worse, pity over a disease that could kill me. But in today's world there are tons of people who would prefer to watch a soap opera, Maury, and the guy that used to be Jerry Springer's bodyguard. People love the attention they get for all the negative things in their life. I couldn't imagine choosing to have my child's DNA test results read on national T.V. rather than doing it in private where no one will be embarrassed at the fact that neither "parent" knows who the father is. All because both of the parents were too promiscuous to have only one partner at a time.

It's tragic that television has gone this way, we love watching horrible drama. I'm guilty of this as well, I'll watch hours of Law and Order S.V.U. on T.V. during the day. Episode after episode of negative horrible drama, yeah it's nice when the bad guy gets it in the end. But he doesn't always, and when he does is it really worth 45 minutes of horrifying, graphic, negative drama for 30 seconds of good feeling when they catch the guy and send him to jail? I don't think it is anymore, I mean I don't really gain anything from that. But it's hard to find positive shows on T.V. anymore. Everything's either reality competitions where they tell 9 people they're not good enough and one GOOD JOB. Or worse they pin people against each other and make them fight, stab friends in the back, and teach the world you can't trust anyone because they're all greedy and in it for themselves. 

But it hasn't always been this way, when I was growing up we had T.V. shows like Boy Meets World, 7th Heaven, Touched by an Angel, Highway to Heaven, and Gilmore Girls. Shows that encouraged people to believe in themselves, chase their dreams, settle for nothing less than the best, embrace and take pleasure in your family, and that as long as you keep your head up but never GIVE up, you'll succeed. Also if you do fail it's not the end of the world, it's a lesson learned, and a chance to do better next time. But these shows aren't on anymore, instead for kids we have Pretty Little Liars, and adults have Scandal. 

Then there's Reality T.V. which I have troubles finding anything good to say about. Shows that promote more drama or just poor behavior like Honey Booboo. Which I've luckily never watched, but it seems like it promotes obesity, vanity, and trashy behavior. Then you have these duck guys, another show I've never watched. Though my understanding is they all looked like normal clean cut business men until they got this show. Then they decided being “redneck” like, sounding uneducated and looking dirty would get more viewers than just being normal business men who like to have fun. Honestly I think I would prefer to watch a bunch of clean cut guys do what they do rather than a bunch of guys who fit the part. But I haven't given up hope, although I make it seem like there isn't any, there are good shows out there. Like Undercover Boss, although let’s face it, our favorite episodes are when things are so bad the Boss has to reveal himself and set everyone straight. 

But there are good shows. There are comedies like The Crazy Ones and The Michael J. Fox show. These shows deal with funny, but semi practical family settings and they keep everything together well. It's not constant arguing . . . well except between children at times, but let’s face it THAT'S reality. The shows also teach important life lessons while being funny and entertaining. They re-enforce positive attitudes, doing the right thing, being honest and helping each other. 

But my whole point is, it's been proven time and time again that you can do good, even GREAT, positive things, help other people, and still be recognized and popular. In fact chances are you'll be more popular by doing positive than negative. Just look at Martin Luther King Jr. in comparison to Malcolm X. They both fought the same battle, and suffered the same fate. Yet one has a day named after him and is recognized in schools all over the world for his non-violent opposition to segregation and support for civil rights. The other I didn't even know existed until Jr. High. Both great men, both were fighting the same battle, just in different ways. But the one we really remember is the one who spoke of peaceful protest, equality, and following your DREAMS. Nobel dreams of peace and equality for ALL mankind, for everyone to get along together. 

Positivity IS embraced all around the world, people LOVE a HAPPY ending. So enjoy the appreciation you get for holding a door open for a stranger, and if the first one doesn't show it, wait till one does. I promise it's worth it, and it won’t take much time. Pay attention to your surroundings and appreciate the beauty. Look for smiles, kisses and happiness, you'll find it. Make people smile, laugh at your flaws and embrace your mistakes. I promise, if you are upset, these things will make you happy, they will make you smile, especially when you make someone else smile. There's no warmer feeling than giving someone else the gift of happiness, no matter how temporary. So today, go out and just make 1 person, a stranger smile. Walk up to someone and tell them you like their dress, shoes, or coat, whatever. If they don't appreciate it, so what, you'll likely never see them again, and you can laugh about it later with friend . . . but keep trying till you make someone smile. Because then I promise, if they see you again, they'll remember, you might be the talk of their day, and you'll feel great. Hey you might even make a new friend. So be positive, help people, be nice, and live HAPPY.